Ep 225: Are You Growing From Adversity...Or Staying StuckEp 225: Are You Growing From Adversity...Or Staying Stuck
The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast
Allison K Dagny talks about the difference between conflict and adversity and how this shift in perspective affected her healing from emotional abuse. She shares examples and practical questions to help people move from merely surviving hard situations to making choices that support genuine emotional growth.
37:41•14 Jul 2026
Growing Through Adversity Instead of Staying Stuck in Conflict
Episode Overview
- Conflict can last for years without creating growth, while adversity demands adaptation and change.
- Waiting to be rescued keeps people dependent and stuck in repeating emotional patterns.
- Healing requires action: challenging beliefs, learning new skills, and deciding who you want to become.
- Avoiding discomfort often blocks the very experiences that would build the stronger version of yourself.
- Resilience comes less from enduring endless pain and more from making different choices in the face of hardship.
“Growth really begins when we stop asking ourselves, how do I make the situation different, and start asking, who do I need to be?”
What are the common struggles and victories in addiction recovery? This episode of The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast zeroes in on a subtle but crucial distinction: are you simply surviving conflict, or actually growing through adversity? Host Allison K Dagny, a survivor of 20 years of emotional abuse, talks honestly about spending 7,300 days in an emotionally abusive marriage, stuck in constant conflict with her ex-husband, her family, and even her own thoughts.
She explains that conflict is draining tension that can repeat for years, whereas adversity is a challenging situation that demands action, courage, and change. You’ll hear Allison unpack how staying in conflict kept her in survival mode, waiting for someone else to change or rescue her, instead of facing the hard choices that would move her towards freedom.
She offers relatable examples, from kids forgetting calculators at school to adults expecting others to fix every crisis, showing how chronic rescuing can block genuine growth. A big focus is on subconscious beliefs and how they quietly keep people stuck. Allison walks through questions like "What beliefs do I need to challenge?" and "Who do I need to become?" to help you see where you might be treading water emotionally instead of swimming towards the shore.
She also shares practical steps: deciding how you want to feel, identifying the beliefs you’d need to hold to feel that way, and then working backwards to see what you currently believe about yourself. Her message is clear: hardship alone doesn’t equal healing; change comes from the decisions you make in the face of adversity.
If you’re tired of being strong all the time and just want to feel okay, this episode might help you ask a new question: are you stuck in conflict, or ready to let adversity shape you into someone different?
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.