Ep 226: The One Thing You're Avoiding That's Keeping You StuckEp 226: The One Thing You're Avoiding That's Keeping You Stuck
The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast
Allison K. Dagney reflects on how avoiding true rest kept her burned out and stuck after emotional abuse and divorce. She shares how redefining rest and adding small moments of joy can help survivors move from survival mode towards clarity and healing.
32:58•21 Jul 2026
The Hidden Power of Rest When You Feel Stuck After Emotional Abuse
Episode Overview
- Constant effort under chronic stress can lead to burnout and mental fog, making healing and decision-making much harder.
- Rest is more than sleep; everyday activities like walking, showering, listening to music or being in nature can be genuine recovery moments.
- Subconscious beliefs such as “rest is lazy” or “successful people don’t rest” keep survivors stuck in survival mode and need to be questioned.
- Play and joy-filled activities can create space for creativity, insight and emotional relief that endless research and problem-solving cannot.
- Scheduling intentional rest and, where possible, letting others help with tasks can reduce overload and support long-term emotional recovery.
“The one thing that you're avoiding is the very thing that is contributing to you staying stuck.”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety and healing from emotional abuse? This episode of The Emotional Abuse Recovery Podcast zooms in on one surprising answer: genuine rest. Best-selling author and Rapid Reprogramming™ coach Allison K. Dagney speaks directly to women who feel permanently stuck in survival mode – juggling divorce, kids, work, healing, legal stress, or toxic relationship fallout – and still wondering why progress feels so slow.
Through a raw story about her own divorce and eventual burnout, she shows how constantly “trying harder” keeps the brain flooded with stress hormones and blocks clear thinking. You’ll hear Allison break down how chronic stress affects the prefrontal cortex and amygdala, making decision-making, problem-solving and emotional regulation far harder. The twist? The thing she was avoiding for so long wasn’t another course, book, or therapy session – it was rest.
Not just sleep, but everyday moments of mental and emotional downtime: walks, showers, music, time in nature, playful activities and simple joy. She challenges common beliefs like “rest is quitting” or “rest is wasting time” and invites you to redefine what rest means for you. From holidays with her family in Hawaii to quiet minutes alone with a book, Allison shows that rest can unlock creativity, clarity and genuine healing in ways constant effort simply can’t.
This episode speaks especially to survivors of emotional abuse who are stuck in high-alert mode, scanning for problems and feeling guilty for slowing down. Allison gently asks: “When was the last time you did something that had absolutely no purpose other than bringing you joy?” If that question stumps you, this conversation might be the nudge you need to treat rest as essential rather than optional.
So, where could you carve out even a tiny pocket of joy-filled rest this week – and see what shifts?
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