Engage: Do The Work (Episode 2 - Archive)

Engage: Do The Work (Episode 2 - Archive)

What drives someone to seek a life without staying stuck in old patterns? This archived conversation from Relational Recovery leans into that question by asking a blunt one: are you actually doing the work, or just hoping things somehow change? Host Wes Thompson and co-host Austin Hill talk frankly about responsibility in recovery and relationships. They unpack the tension between needing community and still owning your choices.

As Austin puts it, you can't just outsource your growth: taking every bit of advice blindly "is not self-responsibility. That's putting all the expectations of my improvement on someone else." The episode speaks directly to people dealing with addictions and unwanted behaviours, especially those connected to The Refuge Ministry’s mix of Christian spirituality and psychology.

You'll hear them stress both sides of the coin: yes, you need others to show you you’re lovable, but you also have to decide what to do with their input. You can't learn you’re loved "in a vacuum"; it happens when people show up for you again and again. One of the most striking moments is Wes’s story about a friend who planned to "just win the lottery" instead of making any real choices about his life.

He likens that to how some people approach rehab or programmes: latch onto a person or system, follow blindly, and hope the ticket pays out. Recovery, they argue, asks for something different: intentional effort, honest self-reflection and active participation. This episode suits anyone in recovery who feels stuck, anyone tempted to hand their life over to a programme or mentor, or anyone wrestling with self-worth and community.

If you’ve ever caught yourself waiting for someone or something else to fix you, this conversation might nudge you to ask: what am I actually doing to create the life I want?