Engage: Do The Work (Episode 4 - Archive)Engage: Do The Work (Episode 4 - Archive)
Relational Recovery
Wes Thompson and Austin Hill talk about the fear that change is unrealistic, stressing that growth is hard but achievable through small, consistent effort. They highlight the value of reflection, choice, and supportive community within The Refuge in building a long-term recovery journey.
6:07•7 May 2026
Engage: Doing the Hard Work of Realistic Change
Episode Overview
- Change is challenging but realistic, even if addiction has created a long pattern of unwanted behaviour.
- Relapse and repeated effort can feel futile, yet small, consistent work over time creates real change.
- Writing things down and reflecting on past experiences helps clarify thinking and supports long-term growth.
- Being willing to learn from your own story and the perspectives of others requires courage but opens up new paths forward.
- Community, like that at The Refuge, offers caring pressure that calls people into growth rather than letting them stay stuck.
“"The idea that you can change, or you can do something different, or you can alter your behaviour, I would argue is realistic. It's hard... but it's so worth it."”
What are the common struggles and victories in addiction recovery? This archive episode of *Relational Recovery* zooms in on a feeling many people know too well: the fear that real change just isn't realistic.
Host Wes Thompson and co-host Austin Hill talk openly about that sense of futility that crops up when addiction looks like "I keep doing this thing that I say I don't want to do." They acknowledge the frustration of relapse and repeated attempts to change, but firmly push back on the idea that transformation is impossible.
As Wes puts it, "The idea that you can change, or you can do something different, or you can alter your behaviour, I would argue is realistic. It's hard... but it's so worth it." A big focus here is on doing the quiet, often unglamorous work of recovery: writing things down, reflecting on the past, and planning for the future.
Austin notes he has "not a time" where he has regretted sitting down and sorting out what's going on in his head, even when it feels repetitive. Change, they suggest, is usually "small and over time," but it adds up. The conversation also looks at choice and responsibility.
The men in The Refuge community might feel stuck, but Austin challenges that thinking: they chose to be in a place that is "really, really, really good at being a genuine community that cares about each other." That care comes with pressure and support: others see potential, and that means continuing to do the work, even when it's painful. This episode speaks directly to anyone who doubts they can change, offering a mix of Christian spirituality, psychology, and straight-talking encouragement.
If you've ever asked yourself, "Is this work even worth it?", this may be the nudge to keep going.
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