Finding Your People: Building Friendship and Community as Life ChangesFinding Your People: Building Friendship and Community as Life Changes
Encouragementology
Kendell Boysen reflects on how changing routines can shrink our circles and increase loneliness, then offers gentle questions and small steps to create more genuine connection. The episode focuses on both reaching out and letting others show up, turning the wish for friendship into concrete, manageable action.
30:00•6 Nov 2026
Finding Your People When Life Starts to Change
Episode Overview
- Identify how life changes—like job shifts or children growing up—quietly reduce everyday connection.
- Separate healthy solitude from painful loneliness by naming the kind of support you miss.
- Use a simple relationship inventory to clarify what you wish you had someone to do or talk about with you.
- Turn general intentions such as "we should get together" into specific, easy-to-answer invitations.
- Practise receiving care by sharing honestly when you’re struggling and accepting offers of company or help.
“Wanting someone to call is a human need I can meet with kindness.”
Curious about how others manage shrinking social circles as life shifts? This episode of Encouragementology follows professional life and recovery coach Kendell Boysen as she talks through the quiet ache of missing "your people" when jobs change, kids grow up, or familiar routines fade away.
You’ll hear Kendell paint that comforting picture of a small-town diner where everyone knows your name, then contrast it with real life, where you might suddenly realise you’re not sure who to call with news or on a free afternoon. She gently separates solitude from loneliness and uses simple questions to help you work out what kind of connection you’re actually craving: a close confidant, a regular group, or just someone to wander around a garden centre with.
Kendell brings in research on loneliness and friendship—like the striking number of adults who report having no close friends—and uses it as "permission" for people to admit they want more company without judging themselves. She walks you through a mini relationship inventory, asking you to finish sentences such as "I wish I had someone to…" so you can pinpoint the gap you’re feeling instead of assuming you need a whole new social life.
From there, the episode offers tiny, practical steps: finding a recurring activity you can return to, turning vague "we should get together" comments into specific invitations, and gently reconnecting with people you already miss. Kendell also flips to the "B-side" of belonging—letting others show up for you—and questions the habit of saying "I’m fine" when you’re actually longing for company.
Anchored by her journaling prompts and a weekly challenge, this conversation speaks to anyone who wants more honest, everyday connection without forcing themselves into a social marathon. Could one small, genuine invitation be the start of finding your people again?
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