The Strengths You Take for Granted: Recognizing the Gifts You Already Have

The Strengths You Take for Granted: Recognizing the Gifts You Already Have

What drives someone to seek a life that feels more authentic and less like a constant self-improvement project? This Encouragementology episode with professional life and recovery coach Kendall Boysen zooms in on the strengths people overlook because they feel so ordinary.

Rather than fixating on flaws, Kendall invites you to ask a different question: "What am I working with?" She shares her own "gift of gab" story, from a chatty first-grader with a teacher’s note that read, "She talks more than I do. And I teach the class," to a career in sales, speaking, podcasting, and coaching. That gift didn’t suddenly appear; it was always there, just waiting to be used well.

Kendall uses this as a springboard to help you rethink your own natural tendencies—like being the calm one in a crisis, the organiser everyone relies on, or the friend who can always lighten the mood. You’ll hear how positive psychology’s idea of "signature strengths" shows that people often miss their own gifts, and how research links using those strengths to better well-being and goal progress.

Kendall also talks about the trap of comparison and the pressure of competence, reminding you that "a strength is something you possess. It doesn’t have to possess you." She encourages taking a gentle but honest inventory: what comes easily to you, what others count on you for, and where you might be using your strengths out of habit instead of choice.

There’s also a strong focus on relationships—seeing other people’s different styles as strengths rather than shortcomings, and stepping back sometimes so others can bring their gifts. By the end, you’re challenged to spot one strength you’ve been taking for granted, put it to intentional use, and recognise a strength in someone else. So, what might change this week if you stopped chasing what you lack and started honouring what you already carry?