When Your Head and Heart Don’t Agree: Which One Should You Trust?

When Your Head and Heart Don’t Agree: Which One Should You Trust?

Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This conversation with professional life and recovery coach Kendell Boysen zooms in on a familiar tug-of-war: when your head and heart argue, which one should you trust? Aimed at people who are trying to make healthier choices—including those in alcohol and addiction recovery—this episode breaks down that inner conflict with warmth, humour, and a lot of practical structure.

Kendell plays with the contrast between “professional me” and “personal me”, showing how the same person can be decisive at work yet overthink a simple text message at home. She questions the classic advice of “follow your heart” and “use your head”, suggesting instead that “maybe the first step when your head and heart disagree isn’t choosing a winner.

Maybe it’s getting curious about the disagreement.” You’ll hear clear explanations of concepts like intuition, emotion, and interoception, backed by research from neuroscientist Antonio Damasio and others. Kendell points out that feelings are real but “a feeling can be completely real without being completely accurate about what’s happening right now,” a crucial reminder for anyone whose past experiences still echo into present-day choices. The style is gentle but direct.

Kendell walks through practical reflection steps: separating facts from feelings, asking “what does this remind me of?”, and questioning, “what am I trying to protect?” She also offers grounded tools such as slowing down when reactions feel bigger than the situation, looking for evidence instead of reassurance, and distinguishing discomfort from danger—vital skills for people rebuilding trust in themselves in recovery.

Rather than crowning head or heart as the hero, Kendell suggests becoming the one who listens to both: “Trusting yourself doesn’t mean believing everything you tell yourself.” It’s a comforting, down-to-earth listen for anyone caught between fear, hope, and the kind of growth that feels scary but necessary. Where might your next decision look different if you gave both your head and heart a fair hearing?