S6 EP 45: Stop Attacking Yourself: Self-Respect Before Self-Love

S6 EP 45: Stop Attacking Yourself: Self-Respect Before Self-Love

How do people cope with the challenges of staying sober when they don’t even like themselves? This RAW CHATTER! episode tackles that awkward gap between hating yourself and the pressure to "practise self-love". Host Vicky Midwood shares her own experience of finding the idea of self-love "icky" and completely out of reach, especially when she didn’t even like herself. Instead of demanding that you love yourself first, she argues that the real starting point for change is self-respect.

As she puts it, "It’s not a lack of motivation and it’s not a lack of knowledge, but it’s about a lack of self-respect." You’ll hear Vicky break down the difference between self-worth, self-esteem and self-respect in plain, no-nonsense language. Self-worth is what you believe about yourself, self-esteem is how you judge your performance, and self-respect is how you actually treat yourself day to day.

The focus is on practical behaviour: keeping promises to yourself, resting when you need to, setting boundaries, feeding yourself properly, and saying no when something doesn’t work for you. She invites you to notice the way you talk to yourself – the "I’m so stupid", "I’m pathetic", "I’m useless" soundtrack – and points out that if someone else spoke to you like that, it would feel like an attack.

Her key challenge is simple but uncomfortable: stop attacking yourself and instead ask, "What would respecting myself look like right now?" Then act on the answer, even in tiny baby steps. This straight-talking episode is ideal if you’re dealing with alcohol, food or anxiety issues and are exhausted by trying to bully yourself into change. It’s about shifting from punishment to respect so that self-trust and confidence can grow naturally over time.

So, what would respecting yourself look like today – and are you ready to try it for real?