The Two Things You Can Control: Your Inner World and Your Outer InfluenceThe Two Things You Can Control: Your Inner World and Your Outer Influence
Encouragementology
Kendell Boysen reflects on the only two things you can truly control: your inner world and the influence you bring to others. Using simple metaphors and practical questions, she offers a calmer, more intentional way to handle thoughts, emotions, and everyday interactions.
30:00•24 Jul 2026
Your Inner World, Your Outer Influence: Rethinking Control with Kendell Boysen
Episode Overview
- You can't control every thought or outcome, but you can choose which thoughts deserve your attention and what you send into the world.
- Treat thoughts like passing clouds: notice them, acknowledge them, and let many of them move on without unpacking.
- Every action is the first link in a chain, so focus on the quality of that first link rather than trying to manage the entire outcome.
- Pause before you personalise and replace certainty with curiosity by asking, "What else could be true?"
- Before entering a situation, decide what you want to bring into it—peace, patience, encouragement—so your influence becomes intentional, not reactive.
“Remember, your greatest influence isn't found in controlling everything around you, but in being intentional with what begins within you.”
Instead of trying to manage every thought and outcome, Kendell talks about "the two things you can control, your inner world and your outer influence." She uses vivid images to bring this idea to life: thoughts as clouds drifting across a summer sky and every action as "the first link in a chain." You can't stop the clouds or control how long the chain becomes, but you can decide which thoughts you entertain and what kind of energy you send into the room.
How do people cope with the challenges of staying sober? Encouragementology, hosted by professional life and recovery coach Kendell Boysen, leans into that question by talking about control, mental clutter, and everyday influence in a way that feels both gentle and practical. Drawing on acceptance and commitment therapy, Viktor Frankl, and James Clear, Kendell shows how attention and intention shape who you become and how you affect others.
Thoughts, she explains, are mental events rather than truth you have to obey.
The real power lies in the space "between stimulus and response" and in the small, consistent choices that cast "a vote for the type of person you wish to become." Kendell offers down-to-earth practices: pause before you personalise someone else's behaviour, choose where you place your attention because "what you water grows," and decide what you want to bring into an interaction before you walk through the door.
She also flips the popular phrase "protect your peace" on its B side, asking what it might look like to produce peace through calm, kindness, and patience that ripple out long after the moment passes. This episode may particularly resonate with anyone who feels drained by overthinking, relationship stress, or recovery pressures and wants a kinder, more intentional way to handle their day. Could your next step be as simple as pausing at those two gates and asking different questions?
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