Water Your Garden
Water Your Garden

Finding OK - Healing After Sexual Assault and Abuse

Poet and streamer ThiccSparkleButt talks with Hecate about surviving a doomsday cult, rape by deception, PTSD, and finding support through therapy and Twitch. Their conversation highlights how coercion and deception invalidate consent and what it can look like to slowly water your own garden after deep trauma.

AuthenticInspiringInformativeHonestHealing

1:49:36•7 Apr 2026

RSS Feed

Water Your Garden: Cult Escape, Rape by Deception, and Reclaiming Your Voice

Episode Overview

Growing up in a high-control religious cult can normalise abuse and make it harder to recognise red flags in later relationships.
Coercion and deception remove true consent; lying about key facts in a relationship can amount to rape by deception.
Therapy that understands both religious trauma and cultural context can be pivotal, and it is worth seeking a therapist who fits specific needs.
Healing is not linear; setbacks and emotional flashbacks years later do not mean failure, just another bend in the path.
Learning boundaries includes accepting that friends are not therapists and that it is okay to protect both yourself and others while you heal.

“I never understood what my friend would say when she would say, ‘water your garden’… out of the mud, beautiful things can grow if you water your garden.”

How do individuals from all walks of life battle addiction? Here, the focus stretches beyond substances into trauma, consent, and reclaiming identity. "Water Your Garden" follows poet and Twitch streamer ThiccSparkleButt as she talks with host Hecate about growing up in a religious doomsday cult, surviving abuse, and slowly rebuilding a life that actually feels like hers.

From the opening poem, “Welcome to my world of PTSD,” you’ll hear just how relentless trauma can feel – and how stubborn survival can be too. Thicc explains how a high‑control religious group stripped her of boundaries, identity, and even family relationships. Being publicly shamed, shunned, and used as an example of "perfect" behaviour left deep patterns that later showed up in romantic relationships and in her body.

She talks frankly about using relationships to escape the cult, leaving at 42, and the painful fallout with her parents and sister. The conversation then moves into a recent experience of rape by deception. Thicc had clearly stated, “Lying to me is a deal breaker because you take my choice away,” yet later learned key truths had been hidden from her.

Together, she and Hecate reiterate the central message: “Coercion is not consent, and that includes deception.” They also touch on the heartbreak of losing friends, learning that friends aren’t therapists, and the messy reality of setting boundaries for the first time. Amid all this, there are moments of warmth and humour – cats with fake laptops, seasonal outfits, weed and yoga as self‑care, and the joy of Twitch communities.

Therapy with a Black therapist who understands religious trauma, EMDR, and the idea of “watering your garden” become anchors in her healing. If you’ve ever felt broken, too much, or ashamed of still hurting, this conversation might help you feel less alone and more curious about how you can water your own garden today.

PreviousThe Internalized Male Gaze and Self-Objectification