What if You Need More, Not Less: The Mindset Shift that Makes Healthy Habits LastWhat if You Need More, Not Less: The Mindset Shift that Makes Healthy Habits Last
Encouragementology
Kendell Boysen shares a "more, not less" approach to habits, highlighting how nourishing choices can outgrow unhealthy patterns. The conversation links identity, environment and gentle self-compassion to lasting change in health, relationships and recovery.
30:00•3 Jul 2026
Why Adding More Can Make Healthy Habits Finally Stick
Episode Overview
- Shift focus from what you must eliminate to what genuinely nourishes your mind, body, spirit and relationships.
- Treat discipline as intentional choice, not punishment or deprivation that fuels obsession and guilt.
- Ask better questions, such as "What do I need more of?" rather than "What do I need less of?", to redirect your attention toward solutions.
- Prioritise progress, curiosity and consistency over perfection and harsh self-criticism to sustain long-term change.
- Replace old habits with meaningful "seeds" like gratitude, movement, quiet reflection and connection so there’s less space for unhealthy patterns to return.
“"Real discipline isn't measured by everything you manage to eliminate. It's revealed by everything you intentionally choose to cultivate."”
Curious about how others manage their habits in a way that actually sticks? This Encouragementology episode, hosted by professional life and recovery coach Kendell Boysen, looks at why white-knuckling through deprivation so often backfires and how a "more, not less" mindset can support lasting change, including in recovery.
Instead of another list of things you "should" stop doing, Kendell asks a different question: "What if you need more, not less?" She explains the crucial contrast between deprivation and discipline: "Deprivation says you can't have that. Discipline says I'm choosing something better." From food and phones to money, anxiety and even "another drink", the conversation shows how focusing on removal keeps your attention glued to the problem, while adding nourishing habits shifts you towards solutions.
You’ll hear practical examples that fit busy, real-life Tuesdays: adding vegetables instead of obsessing over dessert, planning one meaningful conversation instead of waiting for relationships to magically improve, or choosing a short walk and a glass of water over yet another episode or scrolling session. Kendell draws on ideas from James Clear, BJ Fogg and Michael Pollan to reinforce this approach, highlighting identity-based habits, simple environmental tweaks and gentle guidance like "Eat food. Not too much.
Mostly plants." A recurring image of two gardens makes the message crystal clear. One gardener spends all their time pulling weeds; the other pulls weeds but also plants and tends flowers. Both still have weeds, but only one garden is vibrant. Kendell links this to emotional health, relationships and recovery: if you just strip away habits without planting gratitude, movement, faith, connection and rest, you end up with a cleaner life that doesn’t feel much fuller.
For anyone tired of starting over on Monday, wrestling with cravings or constantly feeling "not enough", this episode offers a gentler, hopeful shift: stop counting what’s missing and start cultivating what gives life. So what could you add this week that genuinely nourishes you?
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