What You See Depends on Where You Stand

What You See Depends on Where You Stand

How do people cope with the challenges of staying sober and sane when life feels like it all depends on them? In this Encouragementology episode, professional life and recovery coach Kendall Boysen talks about how your view of a problem shifts depending on how close you’re standing to it. Speaking directly to anyone who feels over-responsible, burnt out, or constantly “on duty”, Kendall unpacks how proximity can turn ordinary responsibilities into heavy burdens.

She explains the psychological "illusion of control" and Brene Brown’s idea of over-functioning, where one person quietly takes on more than their share because, as she quotes, "Not everything that lands in front of you is yours to carry." Through a calm, conversational style, Kendall walks you through visual exercises: picturing a problem right in front of your face, then mentally stepping back, then viewing it from above.

That simple mental shift helps you ask, "What part of this actually requires me, and what part did I just assume responsibility for?" A gentle garden story brings it home – a woman realising her plants grew because of sun, rain and roots, not her constant monitoring. It’s a comforting reminder that life keeps moving, even when you loosen your grip.

Kendall offers practical ideas like creating deliberate distance, softening self-talk, and testing what happens when you delay a response or let someone else step in. She also shares reflective questions and a five-day journaling companion for those who want to sit with the theme a bit longer. If you’ve been standing too close to everything, this episode might have you asking: what could open up in your life if you trusted that not everything depends on you?