Wise Effort: What Your Regrets Reveal About What Matters Most | Diana Hill

Wise Effort: What Your Regrets Reveal About What Matters Most | Diana Hill

Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This conversation between host Eric Zimmer and psychologist Diana Hill offers a fresh lens on regret, values, and how to use your limited energy wisely – all with plenty of honesty and humour. Diana introduces her concept of “Wise Effort”, rooted in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Buddhist practice.

She talks about “genius energy” – that mix of what lights you up and what you care about – and asks the simple but uncomfortable question: where are you actually spending it? Is it feeding the “good wolf”, or draining you dry? A standout theme is regret.

Diana calls Eric’s story about not taking his mum back to the racetrack a “kindness regret”, and reframes it: “The ache of a regret tells you what you value.” Instead of drowning in guilt, she walks through a practical regret exercise (inspired by Daniel Pink’s research) that helps you spot core values like connection, boldness, morality and steadiness, then act on them today.

You’ll also hear about the “half step” before action – staying with difficult feelings just a little longer. Diana links this to long-term recovery, pointing out that sobriety hinges on learning you can survive any emotion without numbing it. From her friend’s cancer ritual of shaving her head in community, to her son’s note saying “Hello, loneliness” above his bed, she keeps bringing emotions back to simple, everyday practices.

The episode is ideal for anyone in recovery who’s tired of perfectionist self-help and wants something more real: paradox, humour, grief, poetry, and tiny steps that actually fit into daily life. It’s less about fixing yourself and more about asking, with kindness, “What matters most right now, and what’s one wise effort I can make toward it?” Which of your own regrets might be pointing straight at what you truly care about?