228 - Bracing for Impact: Why Trauma Blocks Joy & Good-Feeling Emotions w/ Janine Rashidi228 - Bracing for Impact: Why Trauma Blocks Joy & Good-Feeling Emotions w/ Janine Rashidi
Adult Child
Andrea Ashley and Janine Rashidi talk about why trauma can block joy, how the nervous system keeps people stuck in survival, and what has helped them slowly feel safe enough for love and good-feeling emotions. The conversation blends personal stories, ayurvedic and nervous system concepts, and practical tools for reclaiming small moments of joy after a difficult childhood.
1:05:57•29 Apr 2026
Why Joy Feels So Scary After Trauma: Andrea Ashley & Janine Rashidi Talk Nervous Systems, Love and Healing
Episode Overview
- Joy often feels unsafe for adult children of dysfunctional families because good moments were repeatedly followed by disappointment or harm.
- The body needs a regulated ventral vagal state for joy; in chronic survival modes like hypervigilance or shutdown, joy simply has nowhere to land.
- Familiarity drives attraction, so people may keep choosing harmful partners until they consciously question their patterns and build new experiences.
- Simple practices like breathwork, end-of-day reflection, and asking direct questions in relationships can slowly build inner safety and self-trust.
- Small, consistent pockets of joy—such as a new hobby or class—can have a surprisingly big impact on mood, creativity, and overall recovery.
“We are most attracted to what is familiar, even if what is familiar is harmful.”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety and healing after a chaotic childhood? Adult Child host Andrea Ashley and returning guest Janine Rashidi dig into exactly that, with a raw mix of humour, neuroscience, and hard-won experience. This conversation centres on why joy can feel deeply unsafe for adults who grew up in dysfunction.
Andrea talks about ruined holidays, walking on eggshells, and how many adult children learned that “feeling good is just a setup for the bad thing that’s coming.” She brings in Brene Brown’s idea of “foreboding joy” and explains, in simple language, how the nervous system needs a regulated ventral vagal state before joy can even register in the body. If you’ve ever thought, “Why can’t I just enjoy my life?” you’ll probably feel very seen here.
Janine, a doctor of Ayurveda and author of *Abundance Beyond Trauma*, shares her own story: three marriages, repeating painful patterns, and the moment she realised, “What’s the one thing all of these situations have in common? Me.” She explains how familiar chaos can feel like love, why breakups no longer destroy her, and how she now dates slowly, with clear communication and boundaries.
You’ll hear practical tools too: simple breathing techniques, end-of-day self-reflection, and Janine’s ADHERE framework for working with triggers and childhood parts. Andrea adds her own experiment with joy, from being stuck in functional freeze and phone addiction to finding surprising delight in beginner pickleball lessons.
Designed for adult children of dysfunctional families, people in recovery, and anyone who feels blocked from good-feeling emotions, this episode offers language, validation, and small doable steps toward a life that’s about more than just surviving. What tiny thing could you try this week that might let a little joy back in?
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