239 - Chronically Stuck in Your Head: How Trauma-Informed Mindfulness Quiets the Overthinking Mind w/ Joe Flanders239 - Chronically Stuck in Your Head: How Trauma-Informed Mindfulness Quiets the Overthinking Mind w/ Joe Flanders
Adult Child
Andrea Ashley and Dr Joe Flanders talk about overthinking, complex trauma, parenting triggers and why trauma‑informed mindfulness and IFS can help people raised in dysfunction. They also discuss the promises and risks of using AI tools within therapy for ongoing support.
1:05:30•15 Jul 2026
Quieting the Overthinking Mind: Trauma, Mindfulness and AI with Dr Joe Flanders
Episode Overview
- Parenthood can expose unresolved childhood trauma, especially around anger and control.
- Mindfulness without a trauma lens may intensify flashbacks and anxiety for some people.
- Combining IFS with somatic focus helps move healing from intellectualising into the body.
- Learning to apologise and take responsibility is key to repairing relationships with children.
- AI‑based therapeutic tools can help between sessions, but carry risks around attachment and reality drift.
“I told my kids the other day… you are the most important thing to me in my life. I love you so much. And if you ever feel like I’m treating you in a way where that’s not true, it’s just because I’m in a bad mood.”
Curious about how others navigate their sobriety journey? This conversation between host Andrea Ashley and psychologist Dr Joe Flanders digs into what happens when you’re stuck in your head, using trauma‑informed mindfulness and parts work (IFS) to calm an overthinking mind. Andrea sets the tone with her trademark humour and honesty about growing up in an alcoholic home, getting sober at 19, and later realising she was dealing with complex PTSD.
From there, Joe shares how becoming a father exposed the depth of his own childhood wounds, describing how sleep deprivation and family stress left him “super emotionally dysregulated” and suddenly losing his temper in ways that felt eerily similar to his parents. He talks openly about being “really, really bad at apologising” and slowly learning to own his behaviour so he can have a real relationship with his children.
One moving moment comes when he recalls telling his kids: “You are the most important thing to me in my life… and if you ever feel like I’m treating you in a way where that’s not true, it’s just because I’m in a bad mood.” Joe explains how traditional mindfulness can sometimes intensify trauma responses, and why combining it with a trauma lens and IFS is safer for people who grew up in dysfunction.
He and Andrea swap stories about living in their heads, functional freeze, and the challenge of actually feeling parts in the body rather than just talking about them. They also tackle AI in therapy, from attachment risks and “AI boyfriends” to Joe’s cautious optimism and his work on an IFS‑based AI tool that’s only used through a therapist, with safety features built in.
If you’re tired of your brain running the show and want practical ideas for getting back into your body, your relationships and your real life, could this be the next episode you queue up?
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