SHITSHOW SATURDAY #214 – Lynda S.SHITSHOW SATURDAY #214 – Lynda S.
Adult Child
Lynda S shares how a chaotic, abusive upbringing and years of trauma-bonded relationships fed into addiction, relapse and recovery. She talks about ACA, Buddhist practice, EMDR and growing self-compassion as she learns to prioritise safety, boundaries and healthier connections.
28:52•18 Jul 2026
Punk, Pain and Boundaries: Lynda S on Growing Up Dysfunctional and Getting Sober
Episode Overview
- Speaking up about a loved one’s active addiction can be a sign of self-protection, not wrongdoing, especially in unsafe family systems.
- Relapse may be tied to emotional flashbacks and old family triggers, highlighting the need to address trauma alongside sobriety.
- ACA groups can offer crucial validation for adult children who were taught to prioritise roles like "daughter" over their own safety.
- Practices like Buddhism, IFS and EMDR can help reduce fawning, build boundaries, and soften harsh self-criticism.
- Simple daily self-love rituals, such as telling oneself "I’m going to take care of you," can gradually reshape a person’s inner world.
“"They told me… you didn’t do anything wrong and it wasn’t safe to be there."”
What makes a recovery story truly inspiring? This Shitshow Saturday features Lynda S, whose blend of humour, punk nostalgia, and raw honesty brings adult child dynamics into sharp focus. Across the conversation, you’ll hear how a childhood shaped by alcoholism, emotional abuse, and profound loss fed into years of substance use, trauma-bonded relationships, and people-pleasing.
Lynda talks about growing up with an abusive alcoholic stepfather, the sudden death of her beloved grandmother, and a mother whose emotional immaturity left deep scars.
Later, she describes a Thanksgiving visit with her dad, stepmother and sister that turned into an "emotional flashback" when she spoke up about her sister’s addiction: "They told me… you didn’t do anything wrong and it wasn’t safe to be there." That ACA validation becomes a turning point, challenging the old rule to "just show up as the daughter" no matter how unsafe the situation.
Her story moves through punk scenes, Egypt, long-term relationships with Alcoholics, relapses linked to emotional triggers, and a slow build towards nearly seven years of sobriety. Lynda shares how Buddhism, 12-step work, ACA, and now EMDR and IFS are helping her understand attachment, fawning, and her inner critic.
She laughs about being "an old lady" but also points out that she’s finally learning to pause, say no at work, stop villainising people in her head, and cultivate genuine self-compassion: "My higher power literally was just me holding my chest and saying hey I love you." Anyone who grew up in dysfunction and still finds themselves drawn to chaos will recognise themselves here.
If you’ve ever tried to be "the good daughter" while your nervous system is screaming, Lynda’s story might leave you asking: what would change if you believed you deserved safety first?
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