Choosing Yourself Isn’t Selfish: Boundaries, Saying No, and Taking Your Power BackChoosing Yourself Isn’t Selfish: Boundaries, Saying No, and Taking Your Power Back
Recover Your Soul: A Spiritual Path to a Happy and Healthy Life
Rev. Rachel Harrison talks about why choosing yourself is sacred, not selfish, and how boundaries can support recovery from addiction, codependency and people-pleasing. She shares practical examples and spiritual reflections to help people say no, honour their needs and build healthier relationships.
27:58•18 May 2026
Choosing Yourself: Boundaries, Saying No and Taking Your Power Back
Episode Overview
- Choosing yourself and your wellbeing is described as sacred rather than selfish, especially for recovering people-pleasers and codependents.
- Boundaries are framed as clear choices about your own behaviour and energy, not tools to force others to change.
- Simple, honest “no” statements without long explanations are suggested as powerful boundary tools, starting with low-risk situations.
- Listeners are invited to notice physical and emotional discomfort as signals that something is out of alignment with their soul’s path.
- Healthy relationships are portrayed as ones where everyone can set and respect boundaries, allowing each person to feel seen and safe.
“Choosing yourself is not selfish. It’s sacred.”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety? This conversation with Rev. Rachel Harrison shines a light on one of the hardest parts for many in recovery: learning to say no without feeling like a terrible person. Speaking from her own experience of alcoholism, codependency and people-pleasing, Rachel talks honestly about how easy it is to abandon yourself in the name of keeping the peace. She reminds listeners that, “Choosing yourself is not selfish.
It’s sacred,” and frames boundaries as a spiritual practice rather than a punishment or a way to control others. You’ll hear her break down the difference between helping and enabling, and why rescuing people can feel loving but actually leaves you drowning alongside them. Her lifeguard metaphor hits home: at some point, you may have to “leave them with the life preserver and go back to shore” so you don’t lose yourself. Rachel keeps things practical too.
She talks through everyday examples, like saying no to a late-night outing before an early workday, and shows how you can simply say, “Thank you so much for the invitation. It’s not going to work out for me that night,” without a long, anxious explanation. There’s even a gentle nudge to practise boundaries in low-stakes places, like asking for a corrected coffee order, before tackling tougher family or relationship dynamics.
A big theme is sovereignty: treating your soul and energy like your own “property”, worthy of respect and protection. Rather than labelling others as toxic or narcissistic, Rachel keeps the focus on personal alignment, spiritual growth, and creating relationships where everyone’s needs and limits are clear and respected.
If you’ve ever felt sick to your stomach at the thought of disappointing someone, this episode might help you ask a powerful question: what if choosing yourself is the most loving thing you can do?
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