CLASSICS REVISITED: Creating a Safe Space for Decision MakingCLASSICS REVISITED: Creating a Safe Space for Decision Making
Coming Up for Air — Families Speak to Families about Addiction
Laurie Mcdougal and Kayla Solomon talk about how families can create safe, non-judgemental spaces that help loved ones and themselves make clearer decisions around addiction. They emphasise curiosity, boundaries and listening as ways to give people their power back without pressure or control.
27:27•4 Sept 2026
Creating Safe Conversations So Families Can Make Their Own Choices
Episode Overview
- Create a safe, non-judgemental space where loved ones can think out loud and make their own choices.
- Ask open, curious questions instead of giving advice or trying to fix the situation.
- Respect each person’s "lane" by keeping ideas within their stated boundaries of what they can and cannot do.
- Avoid pressuring people into incentives or actions; offer options, then step back and let them decide.
- Focus on listening and mirroring back what you hear so people feel genuinely heard and regain a sense of power.
“The space of questioning and slowing down time and helping people find their own answers is the biggest gift that you could give anybody.”
Curious about how others manage decision-making in the chaos of a loved one’s addiction? This conversation between hosts Laurie Mcdougal and Kayla Solomon zooms in on exactly that: how to create a genuinely safe space where real choices can be made. Aimed squarely at families and supporters, the episode focuses on the "art of making a decision" when everything feels uncertain and painful.
Laurie and Kayla talk about living in "the land of ambivalence" and explain how asking thoughtful questions can help someone reach their own bottom line. Instead of pushing advice or trying to fix things, they show how to stay curious: "What do you think makes the most sense?" "What feels acceptable to you right now?" Their style is warm, conversational and occasionally funny, yet grounded in very practical skills.
You’ll hear how they use the image of a bowling lane to describe personal boundaries: your job isn’t to move someone out of their lane, but to help them stay within it. They stress that forcing a boundary someone isn’t ready for — like asking a loved one to leave the house — often backfires and can turn helpers into "unsafe" people.
The goal is to make it safe for family members and loved ones to think out loud, change their minds, and come back when something doesn’t work. A big theme is listening as a healing act. Kayla notes that many people using substances rarely get the chance to slow down and think, and that "people want you to listen to them" more than anything.
By asking non-judgemental questions and mirroring back what’s been said, you’re helping them find their own answers and giving them their power back. If you’re tired of feeling responsible for everyone’s choices and want a gentler, more respectful way to support change, this episode might be exactly the breather you need. How could creating more safety in your conversations shift things at home?
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