Youth in Crisis: What To Do When a Teen or Adolescent Wants To Hurt ThemselvesYouth in Crisis: What To Do When a Teen or Adolescent Wants To Hurt Themselves
A Little Help For Our Friends
Dr. Kibby McMahon outlines how adults can respond when teens talk about hurting or killing themselves, focusing on direct questions, validation and safety planning. The conversation highlights family involvement, practical DBT-based coping tools and ways to balance trust with protecting a young person in crisis.
1:07:19•25 Jun 2026
Youth in Crisis: Supporting Teens Who Talk About Self-Harm
Episode Overview
- Ask directly about self-harm and suicide; checking thoughts, plans, means and intent can save lives.
- Treat teen crises as a family-system issue, not just an individual problem, and involve supportive adults where possible.
- Expect ambivalence and vague answers from teens, and view these as cues to keep asking and listening rather than signs of safety.
- Validate the intensity of their emotional pain while staying clear that self-harm and suicide are not the solution.
- Use practical distress-tolerance skills and shared safety plans to help teens ride out dangerous moments without making things worse.
“I'm not here to keep you alive just to prolong your pain. I want to understand the problem so we can solve it together.”
What drives someone to seek help when a young person says they want to hurt themselves? This episode of A Little Help For Our Friends focuses on that terrifying moment when a teen or young adult talks about self-harm or suicide, and what the adults around them can actually do next. Drawing on a webinar with adolescent and family dialectical behaviour therapist Dr. Marcus Rodriguez, host Dr.
Kibby McMahon talks through why teen crises feel so intense right now, from pandemic aftershocks to high-pressure school environments. She stresses that teens aren’t "small adults"; their impulsivity, dependence on family and peers, and massive focus on social relationships make their risk profile very different. You’ll hear clear guidance on how to ask direct questions about self-harm and suicide, including four core areas to check: thoughts, plans, access to means, and intent.
Kibby tackles the common fear that asking about suicide might "put ideas in their head" and firmly counters that myth, emphasising that asking can save lives. A big theme is shifting from doing things *to* teens to working *with* them. Instead of rushing straight to solutions, Kibby urges adults to slow down, understand the pain driving the urges, and validate the feelings without endorsing self-harm as a solution.
She shares Marcus’s powerful framing: "I'm not here to keep you alive just to prolong your pain. I want to understand the problem so we can solve it together." There’s also practical talk of distress-tolerance skills from dialectical behaviour therapy—like intense exercise or using ice on the face—to help teens ride out the worst of a crisis, and why family systems and safety plans matter more than quick fixes.
If you care for teens in any capacity, this episode offers specific language, concrete questions, and realistic strategies to bring some steadiness into moments that feel utterly overwhelming. Who in your life might need you to be that calm, curious presence when everything seems to be falling apart?
Do you want to link to this podcast?
Get the buttons here!
More From This Show
The latest episodes from the same podcast.
Related Episodes
Similar episodes from other shows in the catalogue.