Dissecting Antisocial Personality Disorder: What It Is and How It Affects RelationshipsDissecting Antisocial Personality Disorder: What It Is and How It Affects Relationships
A Little Help For Our Friends
Kibby McMahon explains Antisocial Personality Disorder in everyday terms, using personal and clinical stories to show how it can affect relationships. The conversation looks at causes, traits, treatment possibilities and practical ways loved ones might protect themselves and set boundaries.
1:01:38•17 Jun 2026
Antisocial Personality Disorder, Relationships, and the People Who Break All the Rules
Episode Overview
- ASPD is defined by a long-standing pattern of violating others’ rights through deceit, aggression, rule-breaking, irresponsibility and lack of remorse.
- People with ASPD may appear charming and successful while lying compulsively, hiding substance use and leaving others feeling confused and doubting themselves.
- Genetics and childhood abuse or neglect can increase the risk of ASPD, but understanding these factors does not excuse harmful behaviour.
- Those with ASPD often have low emotional empathy yet good cognitive empathy, allowing them to read others’ feelings and use that information for their own gain.
- For loved ones, focusing on observable behaviour, setting firm boundaries and using clear consequences is more effective than appealing to guilt or emotional connection.
“The more you know about how they work and how it affects your relationship, the more power you have.”
This episode sheds light on the personal battles against addiction and harmful behaviour through a close look at Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) and how it affects day‑to‑day relationships.
Aimed at people who care about someone with serious mental health or substance use issues, it’s especially relevant if you’ve ever wondered, "Am I the bad guy here, or are they?" Psychologist and host Dr Kibby McMahon breaks ASPD down in plain language, stripping away the scary myths about “evil” people and focusing on real-life patterns: chronic lying, breaking rules, impulsive choices, aggression, risky sex, drug use, and a chilling lack of remorse.
As she puts it, ASPD can look like “an extreme goal orientation” where someone will blow past laws, feelings and consequences to get the “goodies” they want.
You’ll hear two striking case stories: a charming psychiatrist whose lies, secret fiancée and hidden substance use left Kibby disoriented and doubting reality, and a young man who admitted to murder “like I said, ‘hey, you went to the grocery store’.” These stories make the clinical criteria feel very real, especially for anyone who’s been gaslit by a partner, friend or adult child.
Kibby also talks through how genetics, childhood abuse, neglect and chaotic environments can set the stage for ASPD, while stressing that explanations don’t equal excuses. She outlines how ASPD differs from psychopathy, callous–unemotional traits and narcissism, and why some people end up in prison while others become highly successful yet deeply harmful in careers like business or finance.
For loved ones, the episode offers grounded guidance: focus on behaviour, not on whether the person “really loves” you; set firm boundaries and consequences; and, if treatment is on the table, understand that approaches like cognitive behavioural therapy, substance use work and mentalisation‑based therapy only help when the person is genuinely motivated. If you’ve ever felt like a puppet on someone else’s strings, this might help you name what’s happening and decide what you’re willing to tolerate next.
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