CLASSICS REVISITED: Motivation -- What Drives ChangeCLASSICS REVISITED: Motivation -- What Drives Change
Coming Up for Air — Families Speak to Families about Addiction
Laurie, Kayla and Dominique talk about what truly drives change in addiction recovery, focusing on motivation for both loved ones and their families. They emphasise small, steady shifts, the CRAFT toolbox, and the idea that family members hold a meaningful part of the solution by changing their own behaviour.
20:53•14 Aug 2026
Motivation and Change: Why Families Matter as Much as Their Loved Ones
Episode Overview
- Change around addiction is usually gradual and built on small, incremental steps rather than dramatic turning points.
- Substances often mask intense mental health issues, so stopping use can unleash difficult feelings that reduce motivation to stay sober.
- Family members have a genuine part in the problem and therefore a real part in the solution, especially through changing their own behaviour.
- CRAFT offers a concrete "map" and "toolbox" for families; using even a few tools consistently can shift the relationship dynamic.
- Motivation naturally rises and falls, so both loved ones and families need patience, persistence, and self-forgiveness when they stumble.
“"If I am the problem, I am the solution."”
What are the common struggles and victories in addiction recovery? This conversation on *Coming Up for Air* zeroes in on one huge piece of the puzzle: motivation – for both loved ones with substance use disorder and the families who care about them. Hosts Laurie McDougall, Kayla Solomon, and Dominique Simone Levine talk candidly about why change is so hard, even when life is clearly painful.
Kayla points out that what might look like chaos from the outside can still feel familiar and weirdly "safe" to the person using substances. Asking them to stop means asking them to face intense anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and other emotions that substances have been numbing, often "coming out like a volcano in lava." The episode keeps circling back to families and their own resistance to change.
Dominique shares frustration about families who say they want things to get better but won’t engage with the CRAFT tools available to them. As she and Kayla stress, change is gradual and messy, for everyone. There’s no magic lightning bolt of motivation, just "incremental steps" and a lot of patience.
Laurie flips a common complaint on its head: instead of saying "I don’t have the problem," she suggests families recognise, "I have a problem in my relationship" and work on that. Kayla sums it up with a line that’s hard to forget: "If I am the problem, I am the solution." Throughout, the hosts remind families that it’s okay to get tired, step back briefly, and then come back to the work. Motivation dips, people stumble, and that’s human.
CRAFT offers a "map" and a "toolbox"; as Kayla puts it, "as long as you're interested and pick up the tools, things will change." If you’re feeling stuck, are you ready to shift just your part of the dynamic and see what happens?
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