CLASSICS REVISITED: What is Radical Acceptance?CLASSICS REVISITED: What is Radical Acceptance?
Coming Up for Air — Families Speak to Families about Addiction
Hosts Dominique Simone Levine, Laurie Mcdougal, and Kayla Solomon talk through their own experiences of radical acceptance while living alongside a loved one’s substance use disorder. They share how accepting what can’t be controlled, rather than catastrophising, can reduce suffering and support calmer, more effective action.
21:21•7 Aug 2026
Radical Acceptance: Facing a Loved One’s Addiction Without Losing Yourself
Episode Overview
- Radical acceptance means recognising what is truly out of your control and stopping the fight against it.
- CRAFT focuses on influencing the environment so a loved one chooses recovery, not forcing them to stop using.
- Catastrophising and rehearsing worst-case scenarios increase suffering and reduce your effectiveness.
- Pain can be acknowledged without feeding it; extra struggle often comes from distorted "always" and "never" thoughts.
- Having a toolkit of coping mechanisms—distraction, support, calming practices—helps you stay grounded when fear spikes.
“Radical acceptance basically is to know that whatever's happening is happening, and much of it is out of your control.”
How do people find strength in their journey to sobriety when they feel utterly powerless? This conversation on "Coming Up for Air" tackles that question head-on through the lens of radical acceptance for families living with a loved one’s substance use disorder. Hosts Dominique Simone Levine, Laurie Mcdougal, and Kayla Solomon break down what radical acceptance is and what it definitely isn’t.
As Kayla puts it, "Radical acceptance basically is to know that whatever's happening is happening, and much of it is out of your control." It’s not approval, and it’s not passively giving up. Instead, it’s about dropping the fight against what you can’t change, calming your nervous system, and refusing to spiral into worst-case scenarios. Dominique contrasts this with the CRAFT approach, where families focus on changing the environment so their loved one is more likely to choose recovery.
She reminds you that CRAFT is about influence, not control: "We're training you to create the environment so that they will want to stop drinking." Radical acceptance steps in for all those moments when, despite your best efforts, things still don’t shift.
Laurie brings in raw honesty, admitting she still wrestles with acceptance: the late-night terror when her son disappears, the mind jumping straight to "he's dead," and the inner voice that eventually says, "Why don't you just do everything you can to take care of yourself right here in the moment?" Her story shows how accepting reality doesn’t erase fear, but it stops fear from running the show.
Throughout, the hosts share practical ideas: using the serenity prayer, spotting distorted "always" and "never" thoughts, building a list of coping tools, and reminding yourself that pain is inevitable, but extra suffering is optional. If you’re exhausted from trying to control the uncontrollable, this conversation offers a calmer, kinder way to show up for yourself and your loved one. So, where might radical acceptance ease just a little of the struggle in your own day today?
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