Shitshow Saturday #205 - The Return of Sam B.Shitshow Saturday #205 - The Return of Sam B.
Adult Child
Sam B shares how life has unfolded since their last conversation with Andrea, from grief and family shifts to new habits around joy, food and work. The discussion reflects on what a calmer, “boring” but genuinely healthier life can look like after deep emotional work.
34:25•16 May 2026
Sam B’s Return: Grief, Joy and the Art of a ‘Boring’ Healthy Life
Episode Overview
- Healing from childhood dysfunction can include recognising both harm and genuine care, especially once anger and resentment soften.
- Joy needs scheduled space just like grief work, whether through reading, music, or hobbies that feel genuinely fun.
- Grief in friendships and pet loss reveals which relationships can hold emotional weight and which are too costly to maintain.
- Firm but calm boundaries with family can shift old roles and allow closer contact without repeating past chaos.
- Letting go of self-criticism as a motivator means learning new, gentler ways to build consistency and pursue goals.
“Emotions demand to be felt.”
What makes a recovery story truly inspiring? Sam B returns to share what’s changed since their first chat with Andrea, and how “same shit, different ditty” has slowly turned into something calmer, kinder and, yes, a bit boring in the best possible way. Two years on from hitting bottom and stepping off the achievement treadmill, Sam talks about growing up in a dysfunctional family and reassessing their childhood with fresh eyes.
While they’re clear there was “a ton of terrible shit”, they also recognise they were more loved than they could see at the time, especially by their fiercely protective grandmother, whose dementia and death reshaped how Sam understands care, protection and family. You’ll hear how Sam has been shifting focus from endlessly digging into pain to also making deliberate room for joy.
They’ve built a strong reading habit inspired by their grandmother – at one point juggling three to six books at once – and gush about the chaotic, funny-yet-serious series “Dungeon Crawler Carl”. Singing in a gay men’s chorus has become another lifeline, giving a sense of pseudo-professional pride and a planned trip to Brussels. Sam opens up about grief, from losing a hard-fought friendship to the rapid illness and death of their beloved cat.
Being “unashamedly a mess” and allowing others to show up for them has become a key measure of which relationships are worth keeping. They also share how intuitive eating and dropping food as a coping tool has changed their relationship with their body and emotions. Work, family, and dating all show signs of healthier patterns: a more supportive job, firmer boundaries with their mum and siblings, a permanent no-contact stance with their dad, and cautious steps into the dating pool.
As Sam puts it, “Emotions demand to be felt,” and this conversation shows what happens when someone actually lets that be true. Could a quieter, more “boring” life be exactly what healing looks like?
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