DBT Skills and Advice Feat. Kate and Michelle of DBT and Me

DBT Skills and Advice Feat. Kate and Michelle of DBT and Me

What can we learn from those who have battled intense emotions and come out with practical tools to cope? This chat on Bold Beautiful Borderline brings together host Sarah and returning guests Kate and Michelle from the DBT and Me podcast to talk through real-life use of Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) skills. Rather than staying theoretical, Kate and Michelle share how they personally lean on DBT.

Kate talks about the skill of willingness, noticing when she’s clinging to how things “should” go and intentionally shifting towards flexibility. Michelle lights up over “accumulating positive experiences” – or as she prefers to frame it, enjoying tiny moments of authentic joy, like admiring rainbow-flecked car paint or a new motorway on-ramp, as a way of keeping herself going. They also spend time on radical acceptance, calling it both the hardest and most life-changing DBT skill.

Michelle explains how accepting painful realities – like an ended dance career or a partner’s alcoholism – eventually opened doors to a life that actually fits her, even when things still feel messy. Self-soothing gets plenty of airtime too, from tiny sensory comforts to stuffed animals that travel through airport security, making grown-up life feel a bit safer.

Kate and Michelle offer grounded advice for anyone new to DBT: go slow, pick just a few skills that really resonate, and stop beating yourself up for not using every tool perfectly.

Throughout, they normalise failing at skills, emphasise that just *thinking* about DBT is progress, and repeat a key message: these tools are not only for people with a BPD diagnosis – “DBT is for everybody.” If you’re curious about how DBT can actually look in day-to-day life, this conversation might be exactly what you need today.